Lotus - surviving life & remaining pure to urself

Saturday, July 03, 2010


Lately I don't feel like I am saving life very much.

It starts to get rather depressing in the ward....so many metastatic and recurrent cancer that is beyond human capabilities to treat; and you know it starts to affect you when you really have to start to thinking about a good death, and having second thoughts.

Metastatic prostate cancers, metastatic stomach cancer,the supposed benign astrocytoma that failed to response to radiotherapy and even 3rd line chemotherapy,a ;young man with metastatic bowel cancer after cured 2 years earlier and needing nephrostomy tube, countless lung cancer (and i have a sinister feeling some of my treated pneumonia will reveal neoplasm and these people have performance status 3), bleeding brain tumour...and a number of neutropenic sepsis post-chemo....in the last 2 weeks alone. By the way, it is Acute Medicine Admission ward, not oncology ward.

The thing is if you find neoplastic in someone who is fit to undergo some kind of treatment, that is fine; but the really is, many of mine, are not. Have to say, a lot of respect to doctors who does Lung cancer clinic.


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