Lotus - surviving life & remaining pure to urself

Saturday, December 06, 2008

This work & relationship

It got me thinking, how many actually survived?

You must be getting bored with all these conundrum and orgy of self-pity and whinings. I told you, I am the emotionally-wreck one. (Our bunch of STs: K is the moaner and highly stressed one,D always the grumpy disgruntled one, S is med-staffing hater, M is new, still shell-shocked with how bad A&E is & M2 is the survivor - you know when things are so bad you just end up in crying/laughing mode).

I am not gonna kid myself; its damned hard. I already feel burnt out,feel rotten inside out, so weary with the travelling to & fro island and mainland and all I am looking forward to is a holiday. As J put it, this feeling can only possibly get worse and worse as you climbed up the ladder, your responsibility getting bigger and bigger and somehow someway we all survived. God saves your soul.Somewhere in between, there is a sweet rewarding feeling when your patients survive their ordeal.

I used to think when I was a HO, all I need to worry is in-patients work. Now, I inpatients/outpatients/GP referral/mucked-up clinical cases/teaching med students & HO/M&M meeting/guidelines & audits/cardiorespiratory results etc... all piling up. The secretary still hasn't type out at least 50 of my clinics/discharge letters/referral and I am tired of hassling her.

Like D, who is so committed to his haematology. He really stayed, make the extra miles to care for his patients throughout their leukaemia ordeal, from diagnosis to complications to their death. All the while, he rarely managed to see his wife who worked the crazy hours of OBG.

Now, let me just cry in the corner thinking about our upcoming 5th wedding anniversary. There is no flight/boat on Christmas day and me working on boxing day.

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