After the holiday...
Just come back from holiday about a week ago. Straight on call and doing a week of nights.
Feeling so refresh, more alive. Don't know what got into me, but even my job feels better, sails smoothly. Doesn't feel awkward at all doing doing venflons, joint injections and ascitic tap. Even my week of nights has some highlights. My consultant was downright impressed that i picked a septic arthritis that was missed by the orthopods. (pengajaran: appearance can be deceptive. If your instinct feels sinister, just take the syringe and needle and aspirate the joint). Medicine doesn't scare me anymore. Well, still another 4 months of medicine to go, I hope I am getting better. I have started to trust my instinct. Its feels so rewarding when my patients getting better. I used to feel beaten and frustrated when they are not getting better, but now I am taking the attitude we are doing the best we can for them (and do no harm); whatever the outcome, you have tried.
It saddened me that a couple of my colleagues has quit medicine for good. But its absolutely true, medicine is not for everyone. You need the passion, the perseverance and the ability to handle the extreme of situation. When i did my surgical job, there is one day when i was on my own (and its bloody busy), and when the head of surgical dept ring me to ask me to present an audit (which i haven't even started); i went to the toilet and burst into tears. My first CPR upset me so much, I cried all the way on my way home. No amount of ALS course can prepare you or real life situation.
Start to organise our life.
Did I mention that i feel so envious with my friends (and my brother's wife) who are expecting babies. Many congratulations! I couldn't bear to be near babies now, as they will tug my maternal emotion so badly and make me feel so left behind.
Feeling so refresh, more alive. Don't know what got into me, but even my job feels better, sails smoothly. Doesn't feel awkward at all doing doing venflons, joint injections and ascitic tap. Even my week of nights has some highlights. My consultant was downright impressed that i picked a septic arthritis that was missed by the orthopods. (pengajaran: appearance can be deceptive. If your instinct feels sinister, just take the syringe and needle and aspirate the joint). Medicine doesn't scare me anymore. Well, still another 4 months of medicine to go, I hope I am getting better. I have started to trust my instinct. Its feels so rewarding when my patients getting better. I used to feel beaten and frustrated when they are not getting better, but now I am taking the attitude we are doing the best we can for them (and do no harm); whatever the outcome, you have tried.
It saddened me that a couple of my colleagues has quit medicine for good. But its absolutely true, medicine is not for everyone. You need the passion, the perseverance and the ability to handle the extreme of situation. When i did my surgical job, there is one day when i was on my own (and its bloody busy), and when the head of surgical dept ring me to ask me to present an audit (which i haven't even started); i went to the toilet and burst into tears. My first CPR upset me so much, I cried all the way on my way home. No amount of ALS course can prepare you or real life situation.
Start to organise our life.
Did I mention that i feel so envious with my friends (and my brother's wife) who are expecting babies. Many congratulations! I couldn't bear to be near babies now, as they will tug my maternal emotion so badly and make me feel so left behind.
