MMC rants & no such thing as perfect spouse

Just come back from North West deanery interview.I think it went well, I hope I did well.I loved the clinical scenario station and did enjoy the ethics session. I wonder how many post will really be available to all the candidates they called for a second round? North West is one of the most competitive deanery for medical training; hmm.., I think its better if I stop myself from thinking too much now.

I am watching one of my fav authors of all time - Penny Vincenzi on telly discussing babies and perfect wife. What do I think about it?

- Whoever think there is a perfect wife or mother is having delusion big time.

- I do think traditional house setting, husband as breadwinner & wife as housewife is one of the best setting for raising a child. However, current lifestyle doesn't permit that; unless of course your husband is a millionaire.

- I am underweight and working on a crazy shifts pattern (changes every single week and night shifts). I am still the same weight as I was when I did my A-Level.The thing is when I am exhausted I lost all my bloody appetite. I barely have energy to push the 20 ml syringe with buscopan or IV antibiotics. Me as a mum? I would love to be. Having said that, I definitely do not enjoy seeing kids at A&E minor. Paeds is specialty I feel ok, but couldn't do it for life. I don't like to restrain kids when I examine them (I feel bad doing it); so I always get the play specialist to play with kids while I examine them.

- Most female docs with kids are disciplinarian. Is it yes, or is it no answer. No grey areas.

Lighter note

On a happier note, I have the privilege to treat someone with hereditary angioedema attack by giving her the GBP 2000 per box C1 esterase inhibitor. I feel so honored when I prepare her C1 esterase inhibitor (have to give her 3 boxes in total).

She was a lovely patient, and to see her clinical improvement after that - is simply marvellous.

4 hour waiting time shit

I so fucking pissed with this 4 hour A&E waiting time fuckwit policy.Apologise for swearing so much,but I am so bloody pissed with it. My stress level has gone up since starting A&E - I feel like I am treating very few really sick patient and most of the time, I treat the people who has basically lost their brain & mind misusing A&E and ambulance service.How sick can someone be if they are able to walk around A&E in high heel?Trust me, NHS will gone bust one of these days. I really think we should charge patient who come to A&E minor.

I am fucking annoyed with people who use ambulance as a taxi service, and who can you blame if all the paramedic being dispatched to fullfill all these fuckwit people need, and someone who has MI ended up not getting thrombolysed. we do have a few patient yang pegi minum mabuk2x, pastu pasal rumah dia depan hospital, diorang tepon ambulance nak tumpang balik,reka cerita la kenapa nak guna ambulance.sampai depan hospital, diorang pegio self-discharge.Bodoh betul. Its all about fulfilling government target, where the hell you put clinical needs of the patient who really need it?

The most stupid A&E attendance aku pernah dengar is this young guy tak pernah exercise & pegi exercise angkat dumbbell, pastu sakit tangan, pegi A&E.muscle pain. Bangang betul mamat ni.

Man, I need a holiday. Kesian my hubby kena put up with my crankiness.

I love my job as a doc.A&E really is testing my patience with - policies,guidelines,inappropriate attendance and disciplinaries out of my comfort zone.

Sick of Hospital

I have learnt many new things since starting A&E, including my dislike to paediatric orthopaedics stuffs (except fracture neck of femur - most of the time quite straight forward as I see it) and suturing facial injuries (it makes me feel faint, my hands shake so much and patient screams despite generous local anaesthetic).

I have been working 12 days straight, including 12 hours shift per day during the weekend.I realised I have reached the limit of my patience when a patient come to the desk whilst I was writing the notes - all I wish I could say is Please Get Off My Face and Go Home; of course I didn't say that. Instead I just say, please go back to your seat and wait for your name to be called. I am starting my seven set of night next week, then off for 2 weeks (yipee!). I hope I will still survived!

Am so sick of hospital!

I am gonna make sure I take my break every four hours from now on.