friendship and sacrifice

Am blogging away whilst my husband is attached to the telly playing his new ps2 game.(this is how I am spending my annual leave,hehe).

Chat to an old friend (7 yrs hx of growing up together); it feels so nice. Even though we haven't chat for yearsss, the conversation flows as it used to be. It feels good. A bond of a good friendship will always remain, that's how I believe. No matter how different your life is now (and then) and no matter the different circles you are in.

She tells me she has given up something big for the sake of her family and I think that is really sweet. It makes me want to say and declare to the world,"See, that is how I see life is. Life isn't about money, status,about what people says and how high your education level is. Life is about choosing what will make you happy and the courage to pursue it. And believe me, it will be worth it".

Hope to see you this weekend.

Strictly come dancing

Thank God Mark win.

Mark Ramprakash is sooo hot and handsome (and exuding Mark Darcy's charm)!! Boy, he sure can play cricket for England and exceedingly excellent dancer. The lifting in free style dance, boy oh boy, he should be a show dancer!! I am well impressed.

damn, it's cold

Winter oh winter...

Its been bloody cold this week. Its kinda depressing as well, I went to work in the dark, I go home in the dark. Tak nampak matahari langsung. Esp with this thick fog around (still haven't stopped me doing 80 miles per hour at M61). I am getting more and more disliking M65, honestly, motorway in jalan yg bukit bukau plus the big lorry tanks, plus jln from 2 ways jadi 3 ways pas tu jadi 2 ways balik.

Work wise, start to settle to my role. Send a sick kid to hospital the other day; (slowly building up my skills). It really different with babies. They can't speak, so you really need to build up this understanding of their behaviour. You can see in babies who is sick, who isn't.

Mana nak pegi ye weekend ni??? sejuk nak mampuih nak jln kat luar, and I have common cold. Asyik pegi Trafford Centre je...

what is putting me off..

I have now discovered why GP did put me off a little bit:

- Frequent attender with no real pathology
- Ppl losing prescription, excuses, excuses. Annoyed, annoyed.

Unfullfilled

Had my first own clinic at the GP practice today. Dunno why, by I just feel so unfullfilled.Unrewarding. I always moaning about how busy Assessment unit is, but at the end of the day, I feel satisfied and go home smiling..

My clinic is not busy. It flows quite smoothly. Why do I feel empty?
The clinical problems isn't actually difficult at all eg: ingrowing toenail, a burn that is healing (why she came to clinic, again?), viral flu, need painkillers,need E45.

Hopefully things will be better next week.

just a thought

sometimes i do think:

how fragile life is. One minute you are healthy, nxt minute you are sick (eg: subarachoid haemorrhage, RTA, MI, sudden cardiac death etc). Sometimes it makes me feel a bit afraid to be too happy, too complacent, knowing god can take everything away, just like that.

And who said life is just?

Al-mighty God, forgive all my sins.Amen.

The first 4 mths...

at the end of rotation.. Did my end of placement review,and my GUM consultant said sth that kinda spurs me to GUM specialty. He said,"if you want to apply for GUM specialties Spr rotation, I will be more than happy to be your references". I was surprised and ever sooo grateful with his remark; he validates my skills. He trusts me to treat difficult patients and delicate situation (eg: a toddler with genital warts, ladies who cry during examinations). Alhamdulillah.

Kinda sad leaving this rotation.I did enjoy it despite me constantly whining about how I am bored with GUM. apart from chlamydia, gonorrhoea, the infectious disease stuff associated with gum is very interesting eg: HIV, syphilis. Did a presentation on tb during grand round - that probably is the first time i present with 30 minutes notice. Nasib baik it went well, kalu tak mati den. dah la kena present with a tb professor who used to be British Thoracic Society chairman.

There is an epidemic of syphilis among gay community in Manchester (for few yrs now); actually its not just Manchester, most big UK cities. I am seeing cases that is so uncommon 10 yrs back like chancre, syphilis rashes. Wouldn't be surprise if neurosyphilis making its comeback in the next 5 yrs. In the UK, there is a "bareback culture" ie no condom allowed, bisexuality is more common now, promiscuity among the young, infidelity (which to me, in the UK,it seemed becoming more accepted in monogamous relationship), alcohol.

anyway, enuff about medicine.

Went out with hubby today, its so nice waking up early (selalu bangun noon time masa my off days) and going out window shopping. Shud try make a habit of waking up early. otherwise, tak nampak cahaya matahari langsung la time winter ni. I am missing Hindustan movies these days. Maybe pegi Burnley esok if no aral melintang to visit Dol & Dila.