Lotus - surviving life & remaining pure to urself

Saturday, March 08, 2008

This makes me smile

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.


Uncertain in relationships?? Hmmmm. Not really liking this statement. I would say nearly 5 years of us being married to each other and still lots of cuddle and tantrum together, deep love and romantic rule!

Its true though, I don't appreciate praises. I think this is because I am afraid I will get too complacent and too comfortable with myself. I probably should stop being so hard on myself.

Rimas

Can't wait to move to new house.

Makin rimas duduk rumah ni. Has become tak selesa at all.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

A reflection

I feel like writing something about myself, just to reflect and look back at my life. Rather boring really.

I am completely aware with the fact that I am not the most interesting or most entertaining person; rather boring really plus a bit geeky. I am a quiet person, but don't take me for a ride, for I can be as vocal as I can be if I feel my rights or limit is overstepped.


I wish for a life that is simple and without complication, but obviously God knows better than me. I think we human never really knows what we wish for. My life isn't simple, it is laden with responsibility and making decision for other people. Even if I am off work, I can't really shaken off the feeling about certain really difficult decision I have to learn to made. Personal life is rather more complicated but I have stopped moaning long ago. I met my husband in a rather extraordinary circumstances,and I have never loved someone so deeply. A family secret surfaced later but he suffused my anger and frustration. Having had a number unfortunate destiny in his life, he became my rock and now I will become his.

I am not generous in financial matter, rather a great worrier. My approach to money is like a bank; I don't find anything wrong with it and its my right to exercise risk calculation. I hope this project of ours will succeed, we have gambled away our saving and funds. Scary, just hope its worth it.

I don't trust promise easily. I forgive but not forget. You can have many friends, but only very few will help you during difficult situation. I see it everyday in my job. Even family deserted their own. Y

Sometimes I wish I am more simple and have more care-free attitude and know not too much about real life. Sigh.