Reality TV (sorry Bel,stealing your title)

Yeah, big fan of reality tv. I do have memorable contestants in some of them.

Strictly Come Dancing - Alesha Dixon (this ex-Mis Teeq girl really can dance. Its mesmerizing.Fall in love with her Waltz. Her Tango, Cha Cha, Show Dance - breathtaking!)


Dancing On Ice - Love and just love Ray Quinn. Come on Liverpool! I loved the city; loved its people. Really friendly people.Like during today flight, this Liverpudlian girl suddenly sneezed so loud, she was standing next to me,we looked at each other and just burst laughing, together with her mum.

X-Factor - Ruth really impressed me when she sang one of Take That song. The final performance of Hallelujah by Alexandra. Leona live singing Run on X Factor.

Stop watching BB 3 - 4 years ago.

Hubby and I loves American Idol.So best just sit in his lap and watch American Idol. Am in clingy mood now. On-call tomorrow. Sigh.

Grumpiness

Funny that as soon as I touch down on the soil of this island, my grumpiness returns.

All the joy of holidays and honeymoons dissipates so quickly; I even wonder did I just went to Paris?

Be positive dear, be positive (really trying hard at it).

Paris is lovely by the way. Always is. Despite having been to the city for a few times, it still excites me. We took a walk in middle of the rain, just going along the trocadero and eiffel tower; and still feel happy. I just love the fact you can "people-watch" at the street cafe, eating nutella laden crepes and enjoy hot cup of coffee (we did just that near Moulin Rouge). We had a fantastic late lunch at this French/Italian restaurant along Champs Elysse. Even had a proper Japonais dinner at this little avenue near Concorde!

Am going to learn French.We even thought of moving to Paris! Ha! I could do with a year working there, couldn't I? Something to ponder upon. It will be fantastic to be able to work and live for a couple of years in Europe - learn the language, cultures etc...

It will be just lovely to do that.

Now, back to earth. Work dear, work.

Me likes!

By Phil Chavanne:

As Woody Allen put it: “As long as you haven’t been kissed during any of those rainy Parisian afternoons, you haven’t been kissed at all.” Paris is where sleepy marriages are rekindled, the flames of passion ignited, vows renewed, and special someones met.

After thoughts...

Alcoholic and IVDU are two of most distinct groups of patients who present huge challenges - clinically and socially. They are the people who need most helps, and yet are the most non-compliances, probably most aggressive and they have this love-hate relationships with the hospital staffs. I strongly suspect IVDU must have something in their genes - the addiction, the survival gene (you will be amazed how much they "come back" despite the thrombosis,the infection, the bleeding etc..) and probably most intelligent (medically speaking). Ever heard about the "skin poppers"? I mean the idea of creating an infection on the skin - stimulate blood vessels growth -hence new areas to inject when you run out of veins? That is genius, not to mention a healthy medium for all the bugs.

Yesterday, I had to console this upper middle class businessman. He misinterpreted what my seniors said and thought he can self-discharge. There is no way in hell I am discharging him - Child Pugh C with alcoholic hepatitis; and I will drag the psychiatrist/use the law or police if I have to. First hospital admission, and we just managed to get him out of his encephalopathy and sepsis. In his own word, "I am a condemned man". That is an absolute truth, and I don't think his liver will ever recover (still scoring C despite all we did). Only time will tell, and we are entering a 3rd week here. His pre-operative risk is in excess of at least 70%. I literally brought him back down to earth; and I hope he realise the enormousity of the damage to his liver. I feel sorry for the children.

On-call was fine yesterday; very busy and we accept plenty of interesting cases. I really had to sit down and think and work out the diagnosis for this jaundice patient. The jigsaw doesn't really sit together.Interesting to know what is the final verdict.

Apart from that, can't wait for Paris! Shhh, not really telling anyone at work, its so damned difficult to get leave from this crazy rota.When I come back, it will be hell anyway.

random thought

This article from daily mail just makes me cry.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1113003/Her-mum-wouldve-loved-Tearful-words-man-baby-born-TWO-DAYS-wife-died.html

Bless her dad. Switching off your wife life support and then hold your newly born baby. Talk about one life ended and another life begins.

Given the number of things I have so far seen in this life span, I cannot always agree with the saying "life is fair". Truth is, its not. Life is never fair. And this kind of tragedy always happen to the people who defied all kind of statistics and to the really good people. I cannot explain this. I mean today I have to tell this poor woman's husband his wife has a big stroke; his husband is partially sighted and relies on his wife. I feel truly sorry for him.

I always believe that God must have his own reasons.Somehow this thought is comforting.

On a more cheery note, I spent a week in London attending a medical course.Stayed with hubby's relatives. They really look after me well. Thanks ever so much for all the breakie,fantastic dinner and went all japanese on my last night. Didn't realise how much I missed London.The hub of academic medicine, and fantastic clinicians.If only they give me the research job at UCH, sighs.

Hmmm, thinking about getting another degree...

Luxury

Ah, bless.

Nothing beats going back to your own home. My posture pillows, luxurious sofas, your own kitchen. Funny that eh? And its so bloody cold outside. Ice...brrr.

And being pampered and dined by your husband.

Don't even care when my SG said,"I am gonna take leave after yours and leave all these s.... for you to sort out". Bless him, all stressed out. Mind you, I did work all through Christmas and New Year, and yesterday I so busy sorting out the massive bleed post heart attack & Type II respiratory failure (talked about triple whammy), subacute bacterial peritonitis, trying to finish ward round and rushed off to catch my flight in the evening.

All these management mishaps by medical staffing. Not my bloody fault they put me to do so many on-calls, leaving no juniors in the team when we have at least 20 patients under our care in the ward and god knows how to fit clinics in between. Bodoh.

Happy New Year everybody!

Be it Maal Hijrah or the year 2009.

This year I want to promise myself:

- To look after myself better. Pamper/Treat/Eat/Go swimming etc..

- To always try to look at a brighter side of myself.

I mean despite how horrendous this place is, another side of my personality has emerged. My ST1 job kinda dumbed me down a little bit (because its highly specialised, juniors not allowed to make decision & I am always the most junior in the team and we have no house officers).When suddenly thrown into the lead with no trustworthy juniors, it kinda hit me hard, but after 5 months I am settling better in the role. I have become more assertive,opinionated, better learner/communicator/doctor, and better judge of character.

- Try to be a better muslim.

- Also realise, the next couple of years will be more career orientated than ever. Am still trying to find how to juggle all these with my personal life. Not gonna be an easy ride, but God willing, I will find it.