Blahhh mood

Ikut hati aku packed and just leave pulau of misery ni.

Sigh.

Its gonna be one hell of a year. Our bunch of ST2 already flooded with constant depression, general unhappiness and the fact they gonna change the rota again (?). This can't be good, can it? Apparently last year there are 12 rota changes and the crazy downbanding and upbanding.

Missing hubby, cranky like a mad woman, and trying to cheer up to celebrate ramadhan.

Chin up kiddo. Wipe away the tears. 2 more days to go then you can blah for your leave.

This too shall pass

Sometime I wished all I need to do is to stay at home and curl up in bed and do nothing.

Instead of solving other people problems, thinking why they are so breathless, what diagnosis, tons & tons of paperwork of discharge summary that my predecessor has left, clinics etc..etc..it seemed like everyone has valvular heart disease & all these elderly have cancers these days.

Post night analysis

Man, last night was crazy. One of the most challenging nights (difficult decisions and dealing with ITU cases).

I get freak out at the beginning with this intoxicated paracetamol overdoses 16 yr old who I think did try to hang herself as well and with us being so far away on an island but luckily her condition starts to improve. Also discover my niche in putting arterial line (haven't done it for 1 year - see, I get dumbed down) and all went very smoothly despite this drowsy patient trashing around & we need 3 nurses to hold her hand.

Then a stand by arrest call come, then my HO panicking about iatrogenic massive massive haematuria. Not to mention 2 detox patients manage to run away from ward and get pissed in town; found by police & meanwhile I was thinking what is the point of detox?



I am gonna rest now and get my sleep. My back is killing me.

Need to study for exam.

Don't think I have enough energy to balas all my puasa. Would have to do it time winter nanti.

Missing hubby and home like mad. Sabar jelah. Lagi 10 hari mau balik pulau besar.

Chiao!

And he passes away....

http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk/

He has touched a lot of lives in his life. May God bless him. Its true as they say, the good one always the first one to be taken away from this world.

Crazy

Oh dear...!

I must be crazy to work at this island and doing the travelling back and forth during weekends and when I am not on-call. Another 50 weeks to go, and hopefully by that time I am still sane, passed my exam and hopefully be a good medical registrar in my chosen (still can't decide...need to made up my mind soon and works towards it) specialty.

I missed our home more than ever! My garden, my bed, my precious sofas, my kitchen! I was kinda hoping if I escorted my patients in air ambulance to Liverpool, I can hop off and go home, hehehe. Mana boleh, wey.

Sometimes it does make me want to weep; but babe, you have got to be tough! Being a medical registrar is no picnic and you gonna make a lot of difficult decisions that you may or may not regret for the rest of your life.

Having said that, my life is not actually that different to my other colleagues. A lot of my friends here have their partners working in London, Cheshire, Liverpool and all over the place. My surgical colleagues even worse; especially now with Modernising Medical Career, it is even more difficult to get a job. You either get a job/forget your surgical dream & be a GP/ do some staff grade post or locum until you get a job.

Who says being a doctor a picnic, eh? Don't ever ever do this job for money, that is so wrong. Me, for some crazy and unknown reasons, I don't know why I am soo attached to it. And I never even dream of doing this.

You know, sometimes ada terlintas dalam hati, it is quite lucky we don't have any children now. I don't think I have the heart to leave the child and let them grow up with me being away at work most of the time. God has its own way; sometimes things just work out on its own. Like the way I met hubby, the long distances relationships, many ups and downs and setback, and yet we survived pretty much intact afterwards.

Sometimes I wonder what else I have to give up or sacrifice; and strangely enough, I think that probably what makes me happy.

Post on call

Can I just say I was completely traumatized after doing 4-days-in-a-row-oncalls by the really crappy (and almost insane) A&E referral and by the house officer, who if I can I will sent her back to medical school and will not allow her to touch any of the patients and the prescription charts?

Next time, if they sent another completely normal pair of legs with query DVT, I will set up my own A&E section in MAU.

New chapter

I wished I could write happier post, but man,don't I have a lotttttttt of things to complain about my new work place. (Calm down babe).

Ikut European law my arse!

A lot of things I can't say here, karang kena panggil whistleblower pulak. Anyway, am going to address this matter as a group through appropriate channel. I am not someone who will let this one go at all.

Ferry ride was ok, altho kena bangun awal giler cos adverse weather at Douglas. Now got headache from inconsistent sleep pattern.

La..la..la..

I think confrontation and honesty just don't work for certain people and she actually is so proud being well-known as a foul-mouthed person? That just show her real personality.

Well, nothing I can do about that, and certainly not going to waste my time. Hard copy evidence are more useful I suppose.

On a higher note, finished at CTC. Said goodbye to my patients, nurses, SpR, consultants. I actually gonna missed them.

New chapter begins.