Wake up call

I have been having sleepless night about this, and reality sinks in, it does hit you hard on your face.

I wonder if this is the wake up call I need.

Leave

You have no idea how much stress I have to go through to get leave.

I don't even freaking do the Tuesday clinic, and you have full team on that day. You don't need me honestly and please let me go.

I need a break; otherwise I might be heading for a breakdown. I am already disillusioned and disheartened with my current job. The job title is a misnomer and I don't want to be trained by someone who is never ever have any training in this specialty. Amazed?

This is saying something.

Twitter

Oh my God; I think I have gone mental.

I am busy like a mad woman,and yet here I am thinking about joining Twitter.

Why?

To follow this dude:

http://twitter.com/AnoopDoggDesai

Oh dear.

I just come out from another heavy duty on-calls and bed crisis.The last guy I saw 10 minutes before my shift finished have good going liver failure from paracetamol overdoses; taken unintentionally whilst he's gone binging 3 days ago.I can bet this will be the biggest regret he ever have in his life. Let's hope he doesn't get encephalopathy later; have a gut feeling he might be going into liver transplant assessment later.

It annoys the hell out of me when this GP couldn't understand that we are having a bed crisis; we even have to hold up some of our A&E admissions.

How do you chill?/Fav things

1.Music.

2.My own alone time.

This is especially true after on-calls time.It does get me down after spending the whole day sorting other people problems all day long/all night long. Just leave me alone, I am done answering bleeps/calls.This is for me to keep my sanity.

Another reason why I love Paris street cafes. You can just grab a book, sit and read under the awning of the street cafe, people-watch, drink good coffee and eat great crepes.And it doesn't seems odd, cos there are plenty of people do that.I do feel odd if I did it in London and certainly never did it in KL.

3.Bitching session with colleagues (usually work-related stuffs. I don't bitch about friends,silly or personal stuffs.To me, people dictate their own life..)

4.A good book.

5.Navigating a foreign city.

6.Travelling by train in Switzerland. It feels so magical, and you can choose a quiet, zero noise coach to really enjoy the scenery.

Done

Done the weekend; back to usual working hour tomorrow. Hoping wednesday on-call to be better.

Its not too bad.

Saw my first ever malignant hypertension yesterday. I was asked to review his blood pressure, and as soon as my foot step into the ward, my alarm bell went off left,right and centre,lo and behold, the CT showed he bleeds intracerebrally.30sth year old guy, and his BP is 230/130;bloody hell. And he is peeing grams of protein in his urine..

Today, I find out that we don't have amphotericin at all on this island; and I thought the pharmacist is joking.

Pissed

I am seriously bad-tempered today. It annoyed me so much with these constant phone calls. At one point, I have an unwell patient (hypokalaemia with seriously remarkable ECG changes, and some really mad electrolytes changes), another A&E doc trying to refer an Acute Coronary Syndrome, I was on the phone talking to nurse practitioner from another hospital and the bleep continue to go off cos a GP need to speak with me. And not 5 minutes later, another GP. I had to leave to J, the consultant to continue the ward round with the house officer.

Talk about trying to juggle all these balls.

Could you please let me see the patients instead, please. I am tired
being on the phone.

Have to say, most of them are appropriate calls, but seriously not impressed when one of the referrer start saying things like Type 2 DM changing to Type 1. I was like, "what are you talking about, mate? This guy has just switch his anti-glycaemic to insulin; it doesn't mean Type 2 change to Type 1. Odd.".

I have a temper of Kratakoa, and I like things to be done properly. Don't start to get on my nerve saying X and X patient cannot go there b'cos these ward is for these and these. We are a small hospital and if I say X need to go there & HDU nursing, that is where they need to be. (And you can see why I want the way out of acute on-calls.).

A hellish week coming up

Starting tomorrow, my hell on earth begins.I have 3 long day of successive on-calls.Then continue to work the next week and another day on-calls coming up. Since all these swine flu cases hasn't died down yet and the *&*%**&^& hospital policy, I have to triage all the calls from GP, and not just from A&E; which means not only I have to go one side of the hospital to another, I will also get constantly bleep and be on the phone. I am also the "babu" , holding down the role of house officer, SHO and registrar for my team cos my superior did not trust his so-called second man.

Pandai kan?

I cannot tell you how much all these get on my nerve.

Times like these, I really don't mind swine flu myself.

Which way?

I kinda sad a colleague of mine is hanging his medic boots to do MBA. He is a good doc, but I guess if your heart not in it,you are not in it.

I have to do some hard thinking as well. Was on the phone with the Prof. late last night. There are no more training posts in the specialty I want to do in my deanery. Despite passing the interview, and appointable as ST3, its just no more post this year. And it just hit me that this is really I want to do, and I knew I am really excel at.

I knew how fortunate I am that my deanery is supportive as ever. Hang about until the post available in 2010 (pretty depend on the SpR getting their CCST)? Move to other deanery later?

I am tired of moving, for now.

Bank Holiday

Happy Anoop day everyone! (most people probably will not understand my obsession with this really articulate-breaking-all-the-stereotype 22-yr-old guy Chapel Hill native. I guess blame it on the Nooper troopers who have been feeding me the "Anoop"icillin! Its especially embarrassing when your consultant cardiologist announced it to everyone after our heart failure meeting.)

I am chillin' now. Mani's farewell dinner was a blast, and we all had a fantastic time and driving up to the highest point of the island at midnight for some picture-taking and these smokers for chain-smoking session.

Need somemore sunshine!! If its not for me, please, let it be for the flowers I am
trying to grow in our backgarden.

Now,back to more studying to do.